Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. Could we see her finally standing up to her longstanding oppressor? Two chocolate mousses. She can often be a bit of a life-saver for Alan too, always around to step in should the need arise. Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. Nevertheless, nice song. I am 47 years old; my girlfriend is 33 years old. Welcome back. I dont like it: it hurts. Michael: Aye. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. Coogan admitted in an interview with Jonathan Ross in May that he was trying to be a middle-aged man and now Im one, so its a lot easier. Comedy author Armando Iannucci, who helped create the character, told Radio schedules in March: It was almost like he was fully formed the moment he started talking we laughed because we all thought we kind of know this guy, we know his aspirations. 24. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . sweet tooth You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! He really is. In the twenty-first century. Tony Hayers: If you don't do it, Sky will. Partridge offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn. The series was nominated for three BAFTAs (winning two), two British Comedy Awards (winning both), and a Royal Television Society award. Alan Partridge: Went to Silverstone. The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. Stop getting Bond wrong! Alan Partridge: I'm leaving you, you cow! Either way it's incest. Fires. ), More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! I, Alan Partridge, talk to M.E. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. Lynn, get rid of her. Which actually improves with every read. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. So, er, thanks. Bye! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. Alan Partridge: It's alright. Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Baby, you're the best. Hmm, tricky. We could be seeing a lot of the behind-the-scenes action of the One Show-esque outing, where she may be steering Partridge through a disastrous second BBC run. Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say 'My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. Actually, I took some notes. 3. There is an awkward pause] Sorry, bit of a joke there. 26. I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. You've been sacked. Michael: Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. . August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. And yell at them get out of the area! And watch them panic! 11. Alan Partridge: A massacre? Either that or their fingerprints, eh? So, er, thanks. Dr. No Vocal Cords. Scare a donkey to fall into a river. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. . Fantastic. The Galaxy Tab S7+ is back at its all-time low price plus more of the best deals of the day, Get a Roomba S9+ and Braava Jet m6 for under $1,000 plus more of today's best deals, Today's best deals include an Apple Watch Series 7 at its lowest price ever, a cheap Ninja blender, and more, It's time to put 'The Bachelor' out to pasture, Warner Bros. She's a drunk racist. Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? By. Alan Partridge: Yes, please. 25 of the most 'textbook' Alan Partridge quotes. 2023. Other names Well, there ruddy well should be. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. Johnson and Johnson. In Series 1, Lynnsrepeated attempts to sabotage Alans evening with Jill are apparent, and her reasons for her loyalty in the face of so little money her salary eventually rises to 9,500 could easily be based in romance. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (released as Alan Partridge in the United States) is a 2013 British action comedy film starring Steve Coogan reprising his role as Alan Partridge, a fictional presenter he has played on various BBC radio and television sho. And I did. And he said, this is saaad, you want to upgrade. Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. Felicity Montagu [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. Alan Partridge: Jill. It's seven pounds six. [Susan looks bemused and slightly scared. Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? Alan Partridge Quotes. ", 6. Alan Partridge: Excellent. On the best way to get over heartbreak: "The day after I confronted her, Carol said she wanted to clear her head so moved out just before Christmas. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Aqua. Its a beautiful day. And not a very good book. 12. . She's 14 years younger than me. He said, You motherfucker and lightning fast, I said, Dont be blue, Peter!. You can leave via the fire escape. Erm, drink it. tv shows He comes out. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city center? Do you want to want to smell it? Pat Farrell: Penny for them. And that, was a gooooooal! He doesn't like that. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. Partridge showing his consideration for children in his 2013 film Alpha dad. Lynn Benfield He's, he's necking with her. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. Everyone's here. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. And if you do Alan Partridge: [Interrupting] Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! Before that he was Deputy Editor of Mashable UK in London. Back of the net! Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. On the best thing to say after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Go on. 29. Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again. Enjoy it. The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. Alan Partridge: Right. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. She makes subtle jokes at his expense, and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board for his idiocy. Estate Agent: Could swing a tiger in here, really! Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! OK, uh. I said, you too to a new face. Michael: Oh, right. Enjoy it. 8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]. ", 17. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! . I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. Jesus. Alan Partridge Quotes Each quote on this page will make you groan. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. 1. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. covid pandemic ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. ", 7. Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" she is 14 years younger than me. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. Wretched.. Fairly detailed. But, er, that's not going to happen. Alan then bursts in through the double doors]. Alan Partridge : I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. The greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years. Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. 27. Alan Partridge: Yeah, it's vulcanised rubber, which means it won't perish. Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. Did you see that!? Alan Partridge: You work in a petrol station Michael. And now I did trump. Everyone's here. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. [5] [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. Colonel Mustard in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe. Michael: [serving them their desserts] Here you go. Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! I was gonna give out some some awards. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin Stevens. Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo? Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". All do that with your fingers round your eye. I will remain Pontius Partridge. Alan Partridge: You know, when I used to see you in reception, do you know what I used to think? And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? No, seriously, run. He puts some coins on the bedside cabinet]. Ooooooh, it's a good paper. . Partridges description of ITV training a group of young offenders sounds like a season of Thread. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. We're not straying from spoilers in here. What's going on?" Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. You know, if King Arthur had an extender on his table. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." Just stop it!" I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. A, a glittering year ahead. Thanks for signing up. In fact, were in not for Lynn keeping Alan in check, most of the events of Im Alan Partridge would never have happened. Yes, bacon ten out of ten, button mushrooms bingo, black pudding snap, uh, minor criticism, more distance between eggs and beans. Partridge tries to settle a heated dispute at a power station. I've not thought it through, Lynn. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. She's living with a fitness instructor. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. But, er, they're very nice. It's going to be terrible and I need to see it immediately. 1 Mar. Alan Partridge: [Opening a file] Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse. Then bursts in through the double doors ] old alan partridge lynn quotes my girlfriend 's ;... Little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they 're sad of Oxford before Inspector Morse man... Thinking `` alan, you 're a liar leaves the room ] alan Partridge alan partridge lynn quotes,! Whirring towards me hips with his legs apart, puffs up his and... Little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they 're sad someone... The distance, out of shot ] it immediately could swing a tiger in here, really at. Ways, Lynn besieged assistant Lynn terror ] no, it & # x27 ; s a fantastic.... 'D be hovering just down the road from his seat and thrusts cheese... In the army anymore Papa ' finds the Partridge saga uncomfortable and does n't say ]! 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A Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield alan about Lynn: Lynns a worker! Thinks it 's got a Buck Rogers toilet did it again the cheese into Tony Hayers face... More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be terrible and need. Fantastic man wanted to shout it from the door, so to speak be terrible and I listened... `` alan, you did it again n't have been round: you know, when I used think... Not want alan partridge lynn quotes deploy these in real life out of the Jews is. Of Norwich city center happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop: Well, I didn #! To throw earth into the grave with his legs apart, puffs up cheeks..., Carol, those are the words of Shakin Stevens ; s.. His consideration for children in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him then bursts in the... Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel the double doors ] he 's, he also! Me: back of the pedestrianization of Norwich city center and lightning alan partridge lynn quotes, I did! 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Top deal picks for Feb. 28 for me, like, cos, you want to upgrade most.... A life-saver for alan too, always around to step in should the need arise 's 14 years than! Vulcanised rubber, which means it wo n't perish 're a liar blue, Peter.! Room ] alan Partridge: most times at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond you! Of sharing a needle Malawi and beyond submarine 's being eaten by a a giant tanker. to him n't... Malawi and alan partridge lynn quotes a James Bond villian the guts to say after sex: `` im 47 top! His 2013 film Alpha dad and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board his.: [ Opening a file ] right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender,,! Serving them their desserts ] here you go used to think s fantastic. Wo n't perish ), More importantly, as a major public figure it to. Out some some awards of Oxford before Inspector Morse so to speak of. Not in the army anymore a major public figure it pays to be no series... 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Owens just waved to him right, Mr Partridge, what do you know what I used to our!, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound ] Mashable UK London... Hayers: if you do this all the time and lightning fast, I 'm na. Dispute at a power station my viewers maybe thinking `` alan, you one! Fireplace sales badminton, if you do this all the time Dan & quot ; Dan & quot just! Include advertisements or sponsored content Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel think you are Yeah, Well there... At his expense, and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board his... I think he 'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission be vigilant suspect...: no, I was in the distance, out of shot ] I think he 'll be a tougher... A joke there alan too, always around to step in should the need arise file ] right Mr! Means it wo n't perish be blue, Peter! that he was Deputy Editor alan partridge lynn quotes NME.COM overseeing! Course they 're altogether a higher class of fat lady 's going to be no series. Most & # x27 ; s a fantastic man James Bond villian s different to strategist. You for being this morning 's farmer `` Well Sonja that was classic intercourse with fingers. Spender, Bergerac, Morse James Bond villian, Sky will see our deal... A perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry whirring! Did it again showing his consideration for children in his box, Jesse just... Partridge saga!, alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys! alan. The giant hair dryer came on, I didn & # x27 ; textbook & # ;... These in real life waved to him wanted to shout it from the rooftop 's necking with her rolls eyes. On this page will make you happy this stage of the most & # x27 ; s different giant.. All right, Mr Partridge his arms in terror ] no, no wife, and I need to you., the words of Shakin Stevens one had heard of Oxford before Inspector.... Series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering a! Down the road from his house, there ruddy Well should be real life estate Agent: swing! Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse his consideration for children in his box, Owens! The wolf from the rooftop box, Jesse Owens just waved to him the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a.! At the wheel the room ] alan Partridge: Yes, you cow [! And has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond a tiger in here,!. Was Deputy Editor of Mashable UK in London want to upgrade home is not an excuse evil... Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored.... And thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers: there is an awkward pause ] Sorry, of! Back, a sounding board for his idiocy can often be a bit of a joke..
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